Lately you may see me on here or facebook talking about the new me and how new and improved i am, and I've been trying to be since last year. I found myself doing rather great not thinking about the past and not letting other peoples emotions get the best of me and just moving forward. Well i realized when i took some hour cuts at work i got a bit stressed as anyone would understandably, i said to myself "you can do this and moved forward," but then the little things here and there kept coming along and then i realized i was right back in square one the person i tried so hard not to be for the past year or so. I'm suppose to be starting school next month, if i ever hear back about the program i want to be in... it is taking up all my thought process thinking "how i am going to juggle that and work and still make being a mom in my schedule...." With all these add ups i just let myself go the past month. When i finally snapped out of my haze long enough last week when i let something small get to me so hard. I then told myself i need to stop this right here and now i will not let life bring me down or people. That i needed to keep moving forward and because i had let it build up for so long i started to feel it in my chest like someone just took a bat to my sternum. To be so stressed is not healthy for anyone. So i say all this only because if you seem to see yourself falling short of your self by a couple cents pick up your pieces and put yourself back together again, its OK to feel this way sometimes just not so much so that you end up hurting yourself physically and your loved ones around you and the ones who care for you. Whether its going for a leisurely walk down town, exercising this can include running don't necessarily need to got to a gym, Taking you time, writing in a journal, or just meditating yes i said meditating could be yoga or just calming your whole self. I personally am going to try these thing one or all the above i need it hell i deserve it. I accomplished so much in this past year or so that I'm not about to let it all slip away because i forgot who i was for a split second. I am going to take my own advice and pick up my pieces again and start like i have never fallen in the first place. I'm going to kick asses and take names in the process. In fact as i said before i am going to start with school a certified program find a job as a CNA (certified nurse assistant). Move myself up in the chain with more school make enough money and move into a bigger place so my kids can have everything they deserve and more. Living the happy dream that makes most people wanna roll their eyes when you tell them about it because they think its unrealistic even though it really isn't.. you just have to try and believe hard enough in yourself. If you think you are in a a bad job, relationship or just have bad situation get yourself out of it people deserve more then they think and more happiness means everything otherwise why live life at all if you are going to wasted it away on anger and self pity.